all work copyright 2007 to infinity, adam dachis, all rights reserved, etc.
writing everyone needs to do something non-technical, so i do it by writing on a computer
essays, short fiction, and screenplays. all sorts of ways to find out where i go off to.
essays, short fiction, and screenplays. all sorts of ways to find out where i go off to.
Taking It Slow
Download the first 20 pages
Most parents hope their children aren't born with a mental handicap, but Thellia Newhouse wished for nothing more. Unfortunately her son, Elliot, was a genius and homeschooling him was the only way to keep him dumb. Boys become young men and young men are curious, no doubt. After time had passed, all Elliot wanted was to see the real world: public school. With his complete lack of accurate knowledge, Elliot was quickly moved into special education making him the butt of everyone's jokes. Little did the school know, however, that Elliot would prove that normal people were truly the ones with a mental handicap.
EXT. NEWHOUSE HOUSEHOLD - DAY - ESTABLISHING
A quaint home in a neighborhood of other quaint homes,
complete with painted wood fences, sidewalk and driveways but
just enough trash on the street to feel the city nearby.
INT. NEWHOUSE HOUSEHOLD - LIVING ROOM - CONTINUOUS
THELLIA Newhouse (49), busily dressed with frizzled hair,
paces with an open book in front of classic wooden furniture.
A short-haired young man, tall, and thinly framed, looks up
at his mother, listening intently. A pencil rests delicately
on his large ear. This is ELLIOT Newhouse (17). He appears
to have been dressed by his mother.
THELLIA
...and so the brave Mr. Booth
sacrificed his life for President
Lincoln so President Lincoln could
run off with his gay lover and live
a peaceful life.
ELLIOT
That sounds a lot like World War
II, Ma.
THELLIA
How do you figure?
ELLIOT
Well, it was almost the same thing
with Hitler.
THELLIA
That's right, but Hitler was--
ELLIOT
Hitler was evil, I know.
THELLIA
History demonstrates that there are
two ways to be gay.
ELLIOT
I know, Ma.
THELLIA
I can't say it enough. I don't
want you to turn out to be one of
the evil gays.
ELLIOT
Ma, for the last time, I'm not gay.
THELLIA
Then what are you keepin' in that
shoebox, huh? What are you so
afraid to show your mother?
ELLIOT
It's nothing, Ma, I swear. I just
want some privacy. That's all
President Lincoln wanted.
THELLIA
Yes, I supposed you're right.
Elliot fiddles with his hands a bit.
ELLIOT
Ma, do you think, maybe, we could
go out today?
THELLIA
Did you finish your arithmetic?
ELLIOT
I only have two problems left.
THELLIA
Well if you can finish it up right
quick you can come to the grocery
store with me.
ELLIOT
Yeah, I just have some algebra
left.
THELLIA
Okay, you get that done and I'll
take you with, but I am not buying
you chili.
ELLIOT
Aw, Ma.
THELLIA
Listen Elliot, we've had this
discussion already.
ELLIOT
Fine.
Elliot pouts and pulls out a notebook wedged in the seat
cushion beneath him and grabs the pencil on his ear as
Thellia heads through the doorway and into the kitchen.
INSERT: ELLIOT'S NOTEBOOK
A number of calculus problems are solved incorrectly. There
are two left. Elliot begins to solve it quickly, subtracting
where he should add, multiplying where she should divide, and
vice-versa.
BACK TO SCENE.
Elliot continues to "solve" the problems furiously as Thellia
walks in, dangling the car keys by a limp wrist at the side
of her head.
THELLIA
You about ready?
ELLIOT
Ma, that was like two seconds, hold
on.
THELLIA
If you want to go out, you have 30
seconds.
INSERT: ELLIOT'S NOTEBOOK
Elliot quickly solves the final problem perfectly wrong,
doing all of his math backwards.
BACK TO SCENE.
Elliot slams the pencil down on the notebook and looks up.
ELLIOT
Done!
THELLIA
That's my boy. Let's go.
Elliot quickly stuff the notebook back between the seat's
edge and the seat cushion, letting his pencil fall on the
floor. He walks over to Thellia, ignoring it.
THELLIA (CONT'D)
Elliot, we're going out. You ought
to look dignified.
Elliot rolls his eyes and heads back for the pencil.
INT. CAR - MOVING - MOMENTS LATER
Elliot sits upright with his hands in his lap as he and
Thellia listen to an old 1920s instrumental recording.
Thellia HUMS along with it.
Every few seconds, Elliot begins to make eye contact with his
mother but quickly shifts back to looking straight out the
window.
THELLIA
Are you watching for cats, Elliot?
ELLIOT
Yes, Ma.
THELLIA
I ran over a tabby last weekend.
Could've used your eyes.
ELLIOT
I'm sorry, Ma.
THELLIA
Don't be sorry. You were home
studying like a good boy, and that
cat knows it. Learning's the most
important thing in the whole wide
world.
ELLIOT
I know, Ma. Actually...
THELLIA
What, actually?
ELLIOT
Actually, I was thinking.
THELLIA
That's good, thinking's good.
ELLIOT
I was thinking that, uhm, maybe if,
well, if I went to school with...
THELLIA
You go to school. You go to school
in your living room. That's why
you're so much smarter than
everyone else.
ELLIOT
But I've never met anyone else.
THELLIA
And it's for the best. This is a
cruel world, we live in.
ELLIOT
But Ma, I've hardly seen it. I
want to know what else is out
there.
THELLIA
I'll think about it.
ELLIOT
You always say that.
THELLIA
I have a lot of thinking to do.
ELLIOT
No kidding.
THELLIA
Watch your mouth, young man.
ELLIOT
Sorry.
Elliot looks down.
Suddenly there's the car jumps up and there's a THUMP. A cat
SCREAMS.
THELLIA
Darn it, Elliot!
